[The Onion] - Pelicans Announce Upcoming ‘Basketball Night’
posted by u/daprice82 · 2026-10-22 13:05 UTC
NEW ORLEANS—In an effort to boost attendance and reach new fans, the New Orleans Pelicans announced Tuesday an upcoming “Basketball Night” promotion honoring the popular sport. “Fans at the game on Mar. 11 will not only get to see their hometown Pelicans, but they’ll also get a chance to immerse themselves in the game of basketball through an array of special programming designed to capture the excitement of NBA competition,” said Pelicans spokesperson Sam Shannon, adding that the theme night will feature hands-on activities that will make attendees feel as though they’re experiencing real NBA basketball—including photo opportunities with life-size cutouts of league stars like Victor Wembanyama, dance performances set to iconic basketball anthems, and free Los Angeles Lakers hats for the first 10,000 fans, along with other giveaways meant to give the people of New Orleans a taste of high-level hoops. “For one night only, New Orleans will be home to high-flying NBA action, and the Pelicans will be there as well. Whether you root for the Celtics, the Warriors, or one of the many other franchises across the country, we encourage you to get into the NBA spirit by repping your favorite team’s jersey. Join us in bringing basketball right here to the Smoothie King Center.” As an added bonus, Shannon revealed that the NBA’s own Toronto Raptors will be coming to town for the event, giving fans the chance to see real elite professional basketball players compete in the flesh.
https://theonion.com/pelicans-announce-upcoming-basketball-night/
Original link: https://theonion.com/pelicans-announce-upcoming-basketball-night/
## Top comments
1. u/cleo22270 · 2026-10-22 13:12 UTC
“For one night only, New Orleans will be home to high-flying NBA action, and the Pelicans will be there as well.”
☠️
2. u/ajaxnsfw · 2026-10-22 14:06 UTC
"As an added bonus, Shannon revealed that the NBA’s own Toronto Raptors will be coming to town for the event, giving fans the chance to see real elite professional basketball players compete in the flesh."
3. u/TaxsDodgersFallstar · 2026-10-22 14:16 UTC
""Basketball Night""
4. u/noodlesalad_ · 2026-10-22 17:52 UTC
Onion's still got it. This is gold.
5. u/PM_me_tus_tetitas · 2026-10-22 13:41 UTC
Absolute poetry
6. u/Jacern · 2026-10-22 15:41 UTC
Also a life sized cutout of Wemby and free Lakers hats for the first 10,000 people
7. u/BlunderDefect · 2026-10-22 17:47 UTC
I'll attend for the cutout.
8. u/PapasGotABrandNewNag · 2026-10-22 15:16 UTC
One night only
😂😂
Is it still Smoothie King Arena?
I don’t care to look it up lol.
9. u/A_Lone_Macaron · 2026-10-22 17:28 UTC
Its right there in the post my dude
Yes
10. u/PapasGotABrandNewNag · 2026-10-22 17:55 UTC
I ain’t reading all that bullshit
11. u/ElkRelevant6640 · 2026-10-22 18:56 UTC
it's six sentences 😭
12. u/dbpf · 2026-10-22 18:42 UTC
I'd like to know more about the special programming that will make it feel like real NBA basketball
13. u/WasDavid · 2026-10-22 13:12 UTC
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that the most amount of exposure pelicans got this year is through two onion articles
14. u/JellyOnMyDick · 2026-10-22 13:26 UTC
They’re that kid that’s just happy to be included and doesn’t realize they’re being made fun of and you don’t feel bad about it at the time but as an adult it bums you out to think about
15. u/Briguy_fieri · 2026-10-22 14:51 UTC
We're well aware we're being made fun of
16. u/vNocturnus · 2026-10-22 18:01 UTC
The fans, sure, but what about the team? If the Pelicans are anything like the Kings, they have no clue that everyone else is laughing at them not with them
17. u/antonimbus · 2026-10-22 14:00 UTC
Wait a second, is that why... at that one party... oh no. oh no.
18. u/astrothemorkie · 2026-10-22 17:45 UTC
It’s ok it’s Reddit. We’ve all been that kid
19. u/noodlesalad_ · 2026-10-22 17:56 UTC
No way man, I'll have you know I was always making all the kids around me laugh, I was so popular! I wish I knew what I said or did to make them laugh, but still!
20. u/PapasGotABrandNewNag · 2026-10-22 15:17 UTC
I did not need to be reminded of this and now I feel bad lol.